Powered by Bravenet Bravenet Blog

Subscribe to Journal

Monday, October 30th 2006

11:02 PM

innocence or ignorance

Tonight while checking out myspace I read a couple of bulletins and it struck me as sad. The bulletins are much like some of the mail that I am sure most of you have gotten in the past. You know stuff like if you forward this Something good will happen to you. I wish I was still that bright eyed believing girl that I once was and then maybe I would feel that tingle of hope that should come with wishing and waiting for something good to happen to me. Life has tainted me along with a lot of other people.   and no more do we get that tingle or glimer of hope when we see mail like that.  I have thought and thought about it and I cant decide if I want to be that innocent or ignorant again.  Would I trade all this knowledge of the real world for that old feeling of starry wild eyed innocence ? The answer is Yes!!!!!!!!!!! Ignorance is bliss... my mama use to tell me that and I never understood it but now I do. I wish with all my heart that I could be that young wild eyed girl with hopes and dreams again. The girl that once was before life kicked her ass, But would that mean I would have to go through this ass kicking again? Ok I think I am done with my silly wonderings.

Today was quite nice, it was a beautiful day and I went outside and helped my husband pull up stumps from the yard and burn debris.  I guess I hadn't thought of what a recluse I have become until people were genuinely shocked at me being outside in the yard. I know I have held up in this house and not wanted to do anything outside. I guess as long as I could hide in the house I felt safe. But last night I came to the conclusion that I must somehow forgive my step mother for what she did. I don't know how and Have no clue how long it will take or if I can even do it. but knowing that I made my mind up to try gave me some peace.  I have to let go of every bit of that pain and try and move on.  In thinking about it last night I realized that in 3 years I have not moved forward.  I have remained in the same place grieving and painfully reliving all the things I should have done differently. I will not let myself keep doing that I have missed the last 3 years of my life. I have all but ruined my marriage and my health. my kids have suffered too.
My cousin pointed all this out to me months ago but at the time I was hearing it but it wasn't sinking in. then I read a diary of someone that has suffered immense pain and loss and she is still surviving and that helped to give me some hope. I just know that until I forgive her for what she has done then I can never move on. I also have to forgive myself for the way that I handled the situation with my Daddy. I was wrong and stubborn and stupid and I didn't know how things could change in an instant. So my anger is not totally at my step mother my anger is for me as well. Ok that is about all I have for now..

Happy Halloween everyone!!!!!

30 Comment(s).

Posted by Veronica:

What's up to every , for the reason that I am truly keen of reading this
web site's post to be updated regularly. It contains pleasant material.

Here is my web site :: Blissy Silk Pillow Cover Reviews
Tuesday, January 21st 2020 @ 10:00 PM

Posted by zaki:

Posted by Enid:

The next parts can make it easier to get a tough estimate of the amount that
you just deserve after affected by a herniated disc medical situation. Bending backwards then again, if completed properly, can decrease signs and probably push the herniated disk back
into place. And after that I valued an ebook I had purchased fairly a while earlier
when i was troubled by back ache. Spinal decompression is a painless, non-invasive therapy that relieves again pain. In case
you are acquainted sufficient with the term ‘herniated disc’ likelihood is
you know a little about how the again works, but just in case you don’t, we’ll
start there. No, they do not must be bulky and, No,
they don't seem to be simply seen by others. And, added significantly, would
his technique work with throat discomfort brought on by herniated units?
The worries progressed in to a dropping discomfort which, lastly, couldn't
disappear. I ran into this statement:In .In the center, the elemental process we use for harsh neck
or throat discomfort emits the throat from flexion by reengaging the burden-showing
joint components and pose muscle mass. And my discomfort gone away fully.

my homepage: intensedebate.com
Friday, January 17th 2020 @ 1:46 PM

Posted by Robert:

Ya boy has arthritis in their spine

Here is my homepage; http://www.wikidot.com/user:info/nguyenbavuonge1qivp
Tuesday, January 14th 2020 @ 8:59 AM

Posted by Brayden:

Once we fall we tend to unfold our fingers but this makes them extra vulnerable
to breaking a finger. No matter how giant or small
a personal harm could appear, you should not self medicate and self deal with as musculoskeletal
accidents in many instances are more extreme than this seems.
Bookbinding is the strategy of bodily assembling a guide
from an ordered stack of paper sheets which might be
folded together into sections or sometimes left as a stack of particular person sheets.
Velobind Spines Paper Cutters Paper Joggers Letter Openers Thermal
Covers Unibind Supplies Proclick Spines Zipbind Spines Linen Covers Spiral Coil Index
Tabs. Guaranteed Lowest Prices on an Endless Number of Binding Systems, Laminators, Paper Shredders, Supplies and Accessories.

A hundred A4 or 50 A3 B/W copies Unibind £7.00 500 A4
or 250 A3 B/W copies £30.00 a thousand A4 or 500 A3 B/W copies Copies£50.00 High quality heat binding with steel spines.

Unibind machines have a magnetic change beneath the hot plate.
If you're especially performing sitting job be sure that you've a very
good sitting chair as it's the main contributor for proper
sitting posture and incorrect as effectively.

Here is my site Https://Express.Yudu.Com/Profile/1197933/Nguyenbavuongu5Ya9D
Tuesday, January 14th 2020 @ 4:10 AM

Posted by Billie:

Get a good amount of rest every evening. Receiving adequate rest will assist keep the epidermis hunting healthier.
It would decrease those hefty, darker sectors that occasionally sewm within your eyeballs.
Lots of sleep at night is even vital in some metabolic features that supply vedry
important vitamins and minerals in your epidermis.

Also visit my web site; https://cr7fotbollsko.com
Saturday, January 11th 2020 @ 12:23 AM

Posted by Dorie:

Thanks for thhe auspicilus writeup.It actually was
a amusement account it. Look complex to ffar introduced
agreeable from you! By thee way, how could we keep up a correspondence?

Feel free to surf to my homepage; generic viagra sales
Friday, January 10th 2020 @ 10:15 AM

Posted by Kacey:

Understand Expert Techniqes For Succeeding At Mobile phone Advertising

Imagine that you own a shop that haas quite a few regular consumers,
nevertheless, you realize that one arbitrary workling day you may have experienced minimal to no enterprise come your way.
You send a fast discount giving your dedicated buyers 15% away from along
with the reaction is huge. You could do through mobile phone advertising and marketing.

Make your information enjoyable.Do not forget that mobile may
also be used as being a source of leisure.
Help make your emails interesting annd interesting,
although offering the subscriber with possibly important details or amusement.
Wheen members are oing to do some thing or just waiting for one thin somewhere, they will turn to mobile being an intresting or satrisfying distraction.

Ensure your mobile phone advertisements are appropriate
fro all platforms, mobile devices and much more.
Your business have to remain accessible
too sveral mobile phone customers as possible.
By guaranteeing compatibility on all platforms, you
improove your coverage plus your business' capability to achieve mpre customers through
the gadgrts they use by far the most.

Enable customers present you with comments. Some cellular internet marketers have outbound only messaging,
which means that a consumer are unable to text message them rear without the need of experiencing
plenty of headache. Let your clienjts talk back to you to enhance the target of your respective
strategy, and know if you might need to ttake action differently.

Work with a consultant. Not every person is hiighly experienced,
if you usually are not so inclined, it may be best
for you to hire someone to do yokur unclean be right for you.
You must appear heawvily into thhis person's backdrop to make certain they are polite and specialist, particularly when they will be
a permanent art of your staff.

In summary, you extended for instant solutions to
Sunday, January 5th 2020 @ 8:54 AM

Posted by Catharine:

hi!,I really like your writing so much! percentage we be in contact extra about your aeticle on AOL?
I nred a specialist on this house to unravel my problem.
May be that's you! Taking a look ahead to ssee you.

Also visit my blog; money robot Nulled
Tuesday, December 31st 2019 @ 12:18 PM

Posted by Dino:

Everyone loves what you guys are usually up too.
This kind of clever work and coverage! Keep up the good works guys
I've incorporated you guys to my personal blogroll.

Also visit my blog ... http://Www.Salveweb.it/redirect.asp?url=http://allaboutfirelighters.qhub.com/member/1110638
Tuesday, December 17th 2019 @ 11:02 AM

Posted by Felix:

This info іs priceless. Ԝhere can I find out moгe?

Мy bloog post factors to consider when choosing a home hvac system
Wednesday, December 11th 2019 @ 5:56 AM

Posted by Ericka:

The Commercial Roofing Dallas Fort Worth providers tһat aгe stiⅼl
operational amidst tօns of competition utilize mоѕt efffective kill and
experience. Α roof replacement project tһat's so affordable tһat this owner
from thee house diԀn't demand a cost approximation іѕ obiously a
hɑrd-to-fіnd sight. Search the internet; аsk all yߋur family
memberѕ members and acqquaintances aboutt referrals.

Feel free tо surf tо my ⲣage :: Sunday, December 1st 2019 @ 1:28 AM

Posted by Rosella:

We're a bunch of volunteers and opening a brand new scheme in our
community. Your web site offered us with helpful
info to work on. You've performed an impressive job and our entire community
will likely be thankful to you.

Also visit my web site; woodworking plans shelves
Saturday, November 30th 2019 @ 8:43 AM

Posted by Layne:

The media control ass ѡell ass a stylish Keyboard tսrn it іnto ɑ class apаrt frօm
other laptops regardin ⅼooks and design. Еvеn ɑ cheap printer ϲould eend
ᥙp costing yoս more ultimately if yor ink cartridges ɑгe costly.
Thhe graphic card ᴡill be thе mߋst imⲣortant feature
ߋf tһe gaming laptop ɑs tһere is notһing mоre irritating
than chopppy graphics tһroughout а gaming session.

Аlso visit my web site - printer ink for hp printer reno
Thursday, November 28th 2019 @ 6:59 PM

Posted by alnindo:

Posted by Niklas:

Incredible....this is a beneficial site.

Feel free to surf to my blog Nitro Strength
Saturday, October 19th 2019 @ 1:55 PM

Posted by Modesta:

Just arrived to your blog from Google. Thanks for this information and analysis that really touched me.

While talking about myself, just saw a revolutionary keto
product called Alka Tone Keto. Alka Tone Keto as its name stating everything about itself.
This is a weight loss formula based upon BHB ketones.
And yes, this is also a natural weight reduction formula, and provide you a healthy and slim
body shape.

Here is my web-site; Alka Tone Keto Review
Sunday, October 13th 2019 @ 3:14 AM

Posted by Mable:

Astonishingly individual pleasant site. Huge information offered
on couple of gos to.

Feel free to surf to my blog post :: Nitro Strength
Monday, October 7th 2019 @ 7:13 AM

Posted by Mireya:

Hi there, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and i was just wondering if you
get a lot of spam feedback? If so how do you protect against
it, any plugin or anything you can suggest?

I get so much lately it's driving me insane so any support is very much appreciated.

Feel free to visit my website :: Pornhub Step
Wednesday, October 2nd 2019 @ 6:32 PM

Posted by Zulma:

Yоur aρproach is very unusual in comparison to other fߋlks I have
checked info from. Thanks for ⲣosting when you have got the
oρportunity, reckon I wilⅼ save this idea.

Here is my webpage :: Samson Loginov
Monday, September 30th 2019 @ 8:11 PM

Posted by Merissa:

Brilliant post! I check out your website quite often, and you are continuously coming up with some great staff.
I shared this blog post on my Twitter, and my followers loved it.
Good luck.

My web-site: Andrew
Wednesday, September 25th 2019 @ 5:55 PM

Posted by Deangelo:

Hier stehen Dir eine ganze Bandbreite an Tools für Feinabstimmung Deiner Bilder
verfügbar. Diese Arbeit können dich viele Tools abnehmen. Dabei
fangen wir mit allen unangenehmen Einschränkungen an, in aussicht stellen euch einen Einblick über verschiedenen Mechaniken, zeigen dich
Stolperfallen auf und stellen ein paar Tools bevor.
2. Gebe wieder deine Zugangsdaten ein und melde dich an, sofern zu allem überluss nicht
geschehen. Dieses ziemlich kleine Engagement-Zeitfenster bedeutet, falls Ihre
Tweets von möglichst vielen Menschen gesehen werden müssen -
das heißt, wenn der größtmögliche Teil Ihrer Zielgruppe gerade auf Twitter unterwegs ist.

Stop by my site abonnenten kaufen
Sunday, September 15th 2019 @ 11:47 AM

Posted by Alycia:

What's Taking place i'm new to this, I stumbled upon this I've discovered
It positively useful and it has helped me out loads.
I am hoping to give a contribution & help different users like
its aided me. Good job.

my page - 바카라사이트 (http://efdzn.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=sky62.com)
Friday, September 13th 2019 @ 6:01 AM

Posted by Caramenangtaruhanbola:

Posted by zain david:

Posted by Polly:

I was recommended this web site by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by
him as no one else know such detailed about my trouble.
You are wonderful! Thanks!

Visit my webpage; Http://Showhorsegallery.Com/Index.Php/Member/210255
Sunday, June 30th 2019 @ 11:50 AM

Posted by Clint:

best fleshlight
How can I learn to trust the birth control pills?!
I am making myself crazy and I won't get my period until Wednesday of next week.
I just want to get over this so that someday when I find the right person,
I can have a healthy sexual relationship and not be CONSTANTLY paranoid.
Has anyone else experienced this? Maybe I'm just
not mature enough to be having sex, which to me, seems very embarrassing
because I am an adult, almost 21 years old..

fleshlight sale Everyone should read this and become familiar with it.
This goes over the rules of the community and what happens if they are violated.
I don want to sound pushy of anything but maybe when they make an account
part of the process could be to go over the EoC?

I know this doesn mean they will for sure but at least so it confirmed
that at one point, it was right in front of peope.

fleshlight sale

fleshlight toy For too long, middle class Americans have struggled
with stagnant wages, sluggish labor markets and economic growth well below the historic average.
Much of the economic stagnation stems from our nation's broken tax code, which has become too
big, too complex and too antiquated to satisfy the needs of 21st century Americans.
Our tax code is a self inflicted wound on our economy..
fleshlight toy

cheap fleshlight I know it's kind of scary from afar, but I really recommend
that you do go the only scary bit is thinking about it beforehand.
They're very aware of how sensitive sexual health
can be, and let's face it, the NHS is in the business of doing everything they can to get people tested: so if you
wanted someone there for support, or any other measures to make you feel more comfortable, I'm sure
that'd be fine. They're very used to needle phobias, and are very considerate and patient about such
things. cheap fleshlight

fleshlight sex toy Well, I told the principal and then he left
me alone for
Monday, May 20th 2019 @ 7:58 AM

Posted by Carole:

Simply want to say your article is as astounding. The clearness to your
post is simply excellent and i could suppose you're knowledgeable on this subject.
Well together with your permission allow me to take hold
of your feed to keep updated with forthcoming post.
Thanks 1,000,000 and please carry on the enjoyable work.

Have a look at my webpage - how make website https, Portalbusca.net,
Thursday, May 16th 2019 @ 6:52 PM

Posted by Henrique:

It's an remarkable paragraph for all the web users;
they will get advantage from it I am sure.

Recomendo que veja mais sugestões sobre isto esse cenário acessando
ao webpage ... dicas para criar um blog de viagem (irs-mail.com)
Thursday, May 16th 2019 @ 11:11 AM

Posted by Alberto:

I enjoy what you guys are usually up too. Such clever work and exposure!
Keep up the good works guys I've added you guys to blogroll.

Se você quiser saber um pouco mais de detalhes, recomendo que encontre esse homepage: por gentileza Acesse marcozero.Rec.br
Thursday, May 16th 2019 @ 1:10 AM

Post New Comment

No Smilies More Smilies »