Powered by Bravenet Bravenet Blog

Subscribe to Journal

Monday, October 30th 2006

11:02 PM

innocence or ignorance

Tonight while checking out myspace I read a couple of bulletins and it struck me as sad. The bulletins are much like some of the mail that I am sure most of you have gotten in the past. You know stuff like if you forward this Something good will happen to you. I wish I was still that bright eyed believing girl that I once was and then maybe I would feel that tingle of hope that should come with wishing and waiting for something good to happen to me. Life has tainted me along with a lot of other people.   and no more do we get that tingle or glimer of hope when we see mail like that.  I have thought and thought about it and I cant decide if I want to be that innocent or ignorant again.  Would I trade all this knowledge of the real world for that old feeling of starry wild eyed innocence ? The answer is Yes!!!!!!!!!!! Ignorance is bliss... my mama use to tell me that and I never understood it but now I do. I wish with all my heart that I could be that young wild eyed girl with hopes and dreams again. The girl that once was before life kicked her ass, But would that mean I would have to go through this ass kicking again? Ok I think I am done with my silly wonderings.

Today was quite nice, it was a beautiful day and I went outside and helped my husband pull up stumps from the yard and burn debris.  I guess I hadn't thought of what a recluse I have become until people were genuinely shocked at me being outside in the yard. I know I have held up in this house and not wanted to do anything outside. I guess as long as I could hide in the house I felt safe. But last night I came to the conclusion that I must somehow forgive my step mother for what she did. I don't know how and Have no clue how long it will take or if I can even do it. but knowing that I made my mind up to try gave me some peace.  I have to let go of every bit of that pain and try and move on.  In thinking about it last night I realized that in 3 years I have not moved forward.  I have remained in the same place grieving and painfully reliving all the things I should have done differently. I will not let myself keep doing that I have missed the last 3 years of my life. I have all but ruined my marriage and my health. my kids have suffered too.
My cousin pointed all this out to me months ago but at the time I was hearing it but it wasn't sinking in. then I read a diary of someone that has suffered immense pain and loss and she is still surviving and that helped to give me some hope. I just know that until I forgive her for what she has done then I can never move on. I also have to forgive myself for the way that I handled the situation with my Daddy. I was wrong and stubborn and stupid and I didn't know how things could change in an instant. So my anger is not totally at my step mother my anger is for me as well. Ok that is about all I have for now..

Happy Halloween everyone!!!!!

30 Comment(s).

Posted by Juliane:

It's really a great and helpful piece of info.
I'm satisfied that you just shared this helpful info with us.
Please stay us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.


Here is my blog Naked Pics, official source,
Wednesday, September 23rd 2020 @ 1:02 AM

Posted by Merle:

I'm very happy to uncover this web site. I want to to thank you for your time just for this
wonderful read!! I definitely really liked every part of it and I have you book-marked to see new information in your blog.


Here is my blog post ... Gape Sexy Girl - just click Neuroliteracy,
Tuesday, September 22nd 2020 @ 8:01 AM

Posted by Kelsey:

I relish, result in I found exactly what I was taking
a look for. You have ended my 4 day long hunt! God
Bless you man. Have a great day. Bye

my webpage Photo SEXY - www.philfernandez.com -
Sunday, September 20th 2020 @ 7:48 AM

Posted by Gaston:

I am sure this piece of writing has touched all the internet viewers, its really really good article on building up new website.


my blog ... Hot Porn - http://wetmind.net/,
Sunday, September 20th 2020 @ 12:41 AM

Posted by Foster:

Hello, I think your site might be having browser compatibility issues.
When I look at your blog in Chrome, it looks fine
but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping.

I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, great blog!


Here is my web-site ... Porn Photo (http://geocor.ru/bitrix/redirect.php?event1=&event2=&event3=&goto=https://lporno.top/)
Saturday, September 19th 2020 @ 3:02 PM

Posted by Dan:

I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here.
The sketch is attractive, your authored subject matter stylish.
nonetheless, you command get got an nervousness over that you wish be delivering the following.

unwell unquestionably come further formerly again as exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this hike.


My site ... Gape Sexy Girl, https://www.google.it/,
Saturday, September 19th 2020 @ 11:09 AM

Posted by Rosella:

I love reading through a post that can make men and women think.
Also, many thanks for permitting me to comment!


Here is my web-site: clotilde usr Teapa
Thursday, September 17th 2020 @ 5:10 PM

Posted by Laverne:

Why users still use to read news papers wen in this technological world the
whole thing is existing on net?
site
Thursday, September 17th 2020 @ 2:13 PM

Posted by Guadalupe:

Giờ đây, bạn gái của tôi luôn hạnh phúc và hài
lòng với đời sống tình dục của chúng tôi.”

my site ... Maral Gel
Wednesday, September 16th 2020 @ 5:16 PM

Posted by norwex cleaning products:

Enjoyed the photos, i actually like the among this image, perfect. http://www.midnightridazz.com/viewProfile.php?userId=54914
Tuesday, September 15th 2020 @ 2:48 PM

Posted by Williemae:

Morestone phan phoi da nhan tao goc thach anh
Tuesday, September 15th 2020 @ 6:14 AM

Posted by Carrie:

Sau từng lần quan tiền hê đàn ông thông còn mệt
rũ rời mà rất khỏe mạnh, khoan khoái.


Also visit my web site; Vòng Chống Xuất Tinh Sớm
Friday, September 11th 2020 @ 7:13 AM

Posted by Iva:

Sửa máy giặt LG không vắt. Sửa sửa máy giặt lg giặt LG
không chạy.
Thursday, September 10th 2020 @ 12:44 AM

Posted by Sonia:

Nhân sâm: Không chỉ có tác hiểm dụng bồi bổ huyết khí, nhân sâm còn là một trong những loại thuốc tốt tăng kích thước dương vât tại nhà cường sinh lý phái mạnh.
Monday, September 7th 2020 @ 1:08 PM

Posted by Diana:

Good post. I learn something totally new and challenging on websites I stumbleupon everyday.

It will always be helpful to read articles from other authors and use
a little something from their web sites.

My blog ... kem chong nang obagi la kem chong nang vat ly hay hoa hoc - keo88.co,
Sunday, August 30th 2020 @ 4:32 PM

Posted by Wilbert:

Hello, you used to write fantastic, but the last several posts have been kinda boring?
I miss your great writings. Past several posts are just a little out of track!
come on!

Also visit my web-site ... my pham obagi
Sunday, August 30th 2020 @ 3:32 PM

Posted by Merlin:

Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in fact
was a amusement account it. Look advanced to more added agreeable from you!
However, how can we communicate?

Feel free to surf to my page; สล็อต
Thursday, August 20th 2020 @ 2:39 AM

Posted by Rosalyn:

Heya this is kinda of off topic but I was wondering
if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code
with HTML. I'm starting a blog soon but have no coding know-how so I wanted to get
advice from someone with experience. Any help would be enormously appreciated!


Take a look at my web blog - XSHP
Monday, August 17th 2020 @ 10:12 PM

Posted by white granite worktops:

They want too return to it and forr this they're changing thhe interior. https://cwoodphotos.com/Black-And-White-Marble-Kitchen.html
Thursday, July 30th 2020 @ 2:57 AM

Posted by Holly:

If you desire to obtain a good deall from
this artidle then you have to apply such techniques tto your won web site.

соматотропин web page пептиды
Thursday, July 30th 2020 @ 2:54 AM

Posted by Kari:

Having read this I thought it was really enlightening.
I appreciate you taking the time and effort to put this information together.
I once again find myself spending a significant amount of time both reading and posting
comments. But so what, it was still worth it!


Have a look at my blog post - thiet bi ve sinh inax tai ho chi minh- Hita.com.vn
Friday, July 17th 2020 @ 12:46 AM

Posted by Shanon:

I adore reading and I conceive this website got some truly
useful stuff on it!

my page; thiet bi ve sinh toto ha noi
Friday, July 17th 2020 @ 12:40 AM

Posted by Cinda:

Thanks for the good writeup. It in truth was once a
amusement account it. Glance complicated to more brought agreeable
from you! However, how can we communicate?

Feel free to visit my web blog :: catalogue thiet bi ve sinh Caesar 2017
Thursday, July 16th 2020 @ 11:20 PM

Posted by Moshe:

Hello there! Thiis post couldn't be written much better!

Looking at this article reminds me oof my previous roommate!
He continually keppt talking about this. I'll forward this article too him.

Fairly certain he's going to have a great read. Many thanks for sharing!


my web page Tuesday, July 14th 2020 @ 9:24 AM

Posted by Zak:

If by "Battlefield" you mean BF3/4/H/1, then sure.
But that because those were all iterations of the same core mechanics, tone, and style, and the series is moving on from them.,comment-283538,
electric pedal bike folding bikes,
kekmanagement comments on you know what for honor needs

Another view of the.
Mortgage Real Estate Investment Trusts (MREITs) have the highest
yields of any stock grouping available today.
As might be expected in today's yield starved environment,
this group receives a lot of attention.,electric folding bikes,comment-658408,I feel
like marketing is so beneficial to a start up or business.
HomePage
home
home
electric bicycle
Saturday, July 11th 2020 @ 11:52 PM

Posted by webstagram:

You have a good point here!I totally agree with what you have said!!Thanks for sharing your views...hope more people will read this article. We alos share this site
about instagram.
Monday, June 15th 2020 @ 1:36 AM

Posted by Lukas:

I visited many web pages but the audio feature for audio songs present at this web page is actually marvelous.


Also visit my web page: 바카라
Thursday, June 11th 2020 @ 7:08 AM

Posted by Linnea:

Hey there! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering
if you knew where I could find a captcha plugin for my comment form?
I'm using the same blog platform as yours and I'm having difficulty finding one?
Thanks a lot!

My site - 바카라
Tuesday, June 9th 2020 @ 6:17 PM

Posted by Genie:

There is definately a lot to find out about this subject.
I really like all of the points you've made.


my webpage :: 바카라
Monday, June 8th 2020 @ 8:50 PM

Posted by Nickolas:

Hi are using Wordpress for your blog platform? I'm new to the blog world but I'm trying to get started and set up my own. Do
you require any html coding expertise to make your own blog?
Any help would be really appreciated!

My site :: 바카라
Sunday, June 7th 2020 @ 8:16 PM

Post New Comment

No Smilies More Smilies »