Powered by Bravenet Bravenet Blog

Subscribe to Journal

Monday, October 30th 2006

11:02 PM

innocence or ignorance

Tonight while checking out myspace I read a couple of bulletins and it struck me as sad. The bulletins are much like some of the mail that I am sure most of you have gotten in the past. You know stuff like if you forward this Something good will happen to you. I wish I was still that bright eyed believing girl that I once was and then maybe I would feel that tingle of hope that should come with wishing and waiting for something good to happen to me. Life has tainted me along with a lot of other people.   and no more do we get that tingle or glimer of hope when we see mail like that.  I have thought and thought about it and I cant decide if I want to be that innocent or ignorant again.  Would I trade all this knowledge of the real world for that old feeling of starry wild eyed innocence ? The answer is Yes!!!!!!!!!!! Ignorance is bliss... my mama use to tell me that and I never understood it but now I do. I wish with all my heart that I could be that young wild eyed girl with hopes and dreams again. The girl that once was before life kicked her ass, But would that mean I would have to go through this ass kicking again? Ok I think I am done with my silly wonderings.

Today was quite nice, it was a beautiful day and I went outside and helped my husband pull up stumps from the yard and burn debris.  I guess I hadn't thought of what a recluse I have become until people were genuinely shocked at me being outside in the yard. I know I have held up in this house and not wanted to do anything outside. I guess as long as I could hide in the house I felt safe. But last night I came to the conclusion that I must somehow forgive my step mother for what she did. I don't know how and Have no clue how long it will take or if I can even do it. but knowing that I made my mind up to try gave me some peace.  I have to let go of every bit of that pain and try and move on.  In thinking about it last night I realized that in 3 years I have not moved forward.  I have remained in the same place grieving and painfully reliving all the things I should have done differently. I will not let myself keep doing that I have missed the last 3 years of my life. I have all but ruined my marriage and my health. my kids have suffered too.
My cousin pointed all this out to me months ago but at the time I was hearing it but it wasn't sinking in. then I read a diary of someone that has suffered immense pain and loss and she is still surviving and that helped to give me some hope. I just know that until I forgive her for what she has done then I can never move on. I also have to forgive myself for the way that I handled the situation with my Daddy. I was wrong and stubborn and stupid and I didn't know how things could change in an instant. So my anger is not totally at my step mother my anger is for me as well. Ok that is about all I have for now..

Happy Halloween everyone!!!!!

30 Comment(s).

Posted by Caramenangtaruhanbola:

Posted by zain david:

Posted by Polly:

I was recommended this web site by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by
him as no one else know such detailed about my trouble.
You are wonderful! Thanks!

Visit my webpage; Http://Showhorsegallery.Com/Index.Php/Member/210255
Sunday, June 30th 2019 @ 11:50 AM

Posted by Clint:

best fleshlight
How can I learn to trust the birth control pills?!
I am making myself crazy and I won't get my period until Wednesday of next week.
I just want to get over this so that someday when I find the right person,
I can have a healthy sexual relationship and not be CONSTANTLY paranoid.
Has anyone else experienced this? Maybe I'm just
not mature enough to be having sex, which to me, seems very embarrassing
because I am an adult, almost 21 years old..

fleshlight sale Everyone should read this and become familiar with it.
This goes over the rules of the community and what happens if they are violated.
I don want to sound pushy of anything but maybe when they make an account
part of the process could be to go over the EoC?

I know this doesn mean they will for sure but at least so it confirmed
that at one point, it was right in front of peope.

fleshlight sale

fleshlight toy For too long, middle class Americans have struggled
with stagnant wages, sluggish labor markets and economic growth well below the historic average.
Much of the economic stagnation stems from our nation's broken tax code, which has become too
big, too complex and too antiquated to satisfy the needs of 21st century Americans.
Our tax code is a self inflicted wound on our economy..
fleshlight toy

cheap fleshlight I know it's kind of scary from afar, but I really recommend
that you do go the only scary bit is thinking about it beforehand.
They're very aware of how sensitive sexual health
can be, and let's face it, the NHS is in the business of doing everything they can to get people tested: so if you
wanted someone there for support, or any other measures to make you feel more comfortable, I'm sure
that'd be fine. They're very used to needle phobias, and are very considerate and patient about such
things. cheap fleshlight

fleshlight sex toy Well, I told the principal and then he left
me alone for
Monday, May 20th 2019 @ 7:58 AM

Posted by Carole:

Simply want to say your article is as astounding. The clearness to your
post is simply excellent and i could suppose you're knowledgeable on this subject.
Well together with your permission allow me to take hold
of your feed to keep updated with forthcoming post.
Thanks 1,000,000 and please carry on the enjoyable work.

Have a look at my webpage - how make website https, Portalbusca.net,
Thursday, May 16th 2019 @ 6:52 PM

Posted by Henrique:

It's an remarkable paragraph for all the web users;
they will get advantage from it I am sure.

Recomendo que veja mais sugestões sobre isto esse cenário acessando
ao webpage ... dicas para criar um blog de viagem (irs-mail.com)
Thursday, May 16th 2019 @ 11:11 AM

Posted by Alberto:

I enjoy what you guys are usually up too. Such clever work and exposure!
Keep up the good works guys I've added you guys to blogroll.

Se você quiser saber um pouco mais de detalhes, recomendo que encontre esse homepage: por gentileza Acesse marcozero.Rec.br
Thursday, May 16th 2019 @ 1:10 AM

Posted by Silas:

Download Five Feet Apart 2019 Movie is one other superb
film released Five Feet Apart proper these two weeks in the past and
has made its influence on the box office by being
on the top of most pirated Movie listing.

My page; free movie
Monday, May 13th 2019 @ 9:11 PM

Posted by Dannie:

Hamilton watches present up in such movies as Men In Black, Fight Club, Lethal Weapon 4 and Independence Day.
Lesson 1. Day 3. A. Write a paragraph using the four detail sentences and your solutions from.
Those with a background of utilizing earlier variations or different video making software might discover the brand new version woefully lacking in features.
In the event that they're are no films showing at your local cinema,
then go to a video store and rent some – this can be a even cheaper possibility.

We landed hard, and then the slide curved sharply to
the right. So if you live in the US or in the UK then you will need to take great care
you don’t stream Torrent recordsdata by way of Roku.
There’s no scarcity of torrent websites
obtainable providing a great deal of content.
How arduous would it's to take the torrent of the fan-transcribed book
and sell that one? Writing Skills Practice
Book for EFL.

Here is my web site :: Suggested Web site
Monday, May 13th 2019 @ 6:27 AM

Posted by Rolland:

To make their group function efficiently, business leaders from
all around the world are investing on different kind of databases that is obtainable available in the market.
It ought to be in a position to connect over the LAN at a
minimal. Some individuals may not realise that once they delete a file it will go into their trash and build-up over
time. Nick Starai, VP of Product Development at NMI, says that, "Much of the preparation for the new BINs will be carried out by cost gateways. Share among these social media platforms as a lot as attainable with a purpose to make your brand stick along with engaging interested prospects in your product. If you want to e book a flight for one of the best vacationer locations on the planet I counsel you e-book as early as possible. A very good designer will gather info to grasp the information and one of the best strategy to retailer the data. The paper towels will develop to the maximum dimension and clog your plumping pipes. Many garbage service providers will also provide paper recycling services to their customers free of charge.

Also visit my blog bank Credit Bin checker api
Saturday, May 11th 2019 @ 8:59 PM

Posted by Coral:

Near us through the barbed fence were the infamous cheerleaders that I heard so much about prior to coming from
India. I couldn't understand the fuss. The Rajasthan cheerleaders so eerily resembled the
cheerleaders from my high school in Orlando, Florida that I was having a
sentimental remembrance of an old crush. Che sauntered into Africa after the assassination of Congolese independence leader
Patrice Lumumba. Using the political tragedy as a rallying point, he hoped to launch a people's revolution. By "people," we mean "Che Guevara's people," because although the local
rebel leaders considered him a white guy and didn't take well to him barking orders, Che insisted on leading the project with a bunch of his own Cuban mercenaries.

cheap jerseys If you do not have turn signals on your
scooter you can use your left arm as a way to signal your turns.
To turn left you just hold your left arm straight out.
When you turn right you hold your left arm out, bending at
the elbow point the rest of your arm and hand straight up.

Girls wore clogs instead of regular shoes. Platform shoes were also popular
in the really hip crowd. In the more country Western crowd, guys were wearing
Civil war style boots, the kind modeled after the cavalry boot with the ring on the sides.
cheap jerseys

Cheap Jerseys from china Different generations wore jerseys from their respective
eras. A man with a gray beard who looked to be in his
60s had a Parent jersey. There were scads of jerseys honoring the current players, with Claude Giroux and
Shayne Gostisbehere the most popular. Colors also frequently contain some sort of motto or slogan.
The "MC" contained in many OMGs' colors simply stands for "motorcycle club." The Pagans' colors have
the initials GFPD, which stands for "God Forgives, Pagan's Don't" [source: Peirce].

Bikers also wear smaller patches around the colors,
or on the sleeves or lapels of their jackets
to represent various
Thursday, May 9th 2019 @ 9:40 PM

Posted by Liam:

Thanks for tthe good writeup. It in fact was once a leisure account
it. Look complicated to more brought agreeable from you!
However, how could we be in contact?

Review my website :: kryptonex
Saturday, March 30th 2019 @ 9:52 AM

Posted by Toko Pakaian:

Posted by Agen Bola:

Posted by Prediksi Bola:

Prediksi Bola | Agen Casino Online | Judi Online | Agen Bola
Prediksi Skor Bola | Prediksi Bola | Bursa Taruhan Asianbookie | Judi Online | Jadwal Bola
Wednesday, July 2nd 2014 @ 8:39 AM

Posted by Toko Pakaian:

Toko Baju Online http://tokopakaiandistro.com/
Prediksi Bola http://prediksibolaterbaru.com/
Berita dan Prediksi Bola http://gathotnovin.com/
Kaisarbet.com Agen Bola Terpercaya Piala Dunia 2014 http://akuratprediksibola.blogspot.com/2014/06/kaisarbet.com-agen-bola-terpercaya-piala-dunia-2014.html
Wednesday, July 2nd 2014 @ 8:38 AM

Posted by Judi Bola:

Casino Sbobet | Judi Online | Agen Bola | Prediksi Bola
Prediksi Bola | Agen Casino Online | Judi Online | Agen Bola
Judi | Judi Bola | Judi Online | Prediksi Skor Bola | Prediksi Bola | Bursa Taruhan Asianbookie | Judi Online | Jadwal Bola
Toko Baju Online | Prediksi Bola | Berita dan Prediksi Bola | Kaisarbet.com Agen Bola Terpercaya Piala Dunia 2014 | Wednesday, June 4th 2014 @ 7:40 AM

Posted by Obat Nyeri Dada Tradisional:

This is a great enterprise to run on a complete or element
Obat Gatal Di Selangkangan

Obat Batu Empedu

Cara Menghilangkan Keloid

Cara Mengobati Amandel Pada Anak

Obat Polip Lambung

Obat Penambah Berat Badan

Obat Campak Pada Anak

Obat Amandel Untuk Anak

Jelly Gamat Gold-G

Obat Alami Susah Makan Pada Anak

Obat Batuk Berdarah Yang Alami

Obat Infeksi Lambung

Obat Alami Batuk Pilek Pada Anak
Obat Maag
Obat Alergi Cuaca Dingin
Pengobatan Sakit Perut
Obat Herbal Wasir Untuk Ibu Hamil
Obat Pilek Menahun Tradisional
Obat Sembelit Pada Anak
Obat Batuk Kronis Pada Anak
Friday, March 21st 2014 @ 3:20 AM

Posted by Free Farm Games:

Amazing bit of writing I'm excited to have found this post.


really good
Thursday, September 22nd 2011 @ 6:13 AM

Posted by Free Computer Games:

fabulous bit of content I'm glad to have found this post.

Wednesday, September 21st 2011 @ 7:57 PM

Posted by Rosa:

samsung cellular ringtones us wav converter mp3 to polyphonic monophonic create converter audio ringtone own to download how your ringtones lg for 8100 ringtones ringtones downloads mp3 free to ringtone gold sch ringtone samsung a930 ringtones free music mp3 ringtone ride we ringtones mp3 create free from ringtones by mp3 amr convertor to ring to convert tone girlfriend ringtones for your for music phones cell mp3 into ringtone make Monday, March 3rd 2008 @ 11:22 PM

Posted by Laura:

vx9400 lg ringtones on phone download to cell your ringtones asx mp3 to computer ring download from tones conchords flight ringtones of the tones cheap siemens midi mobile phone music minor in d ringtone fugue ringtones midi razr ringtones more get my ringtone arms in here right ringtone eyes irish are smiling ringtones for celluar us make a ringtone custom lg ringtone delete mp3 ringtones tracfone diamonds friend best a girls ringtone are nextel download ringtone Monday, March 3rd 2008 @ 1:41 PM

Posted by Austin:

formats mp3 ringtones free bollywood ringtone mp3 converters mobile for t how ringtones to make to sent ringtones phone ringtone create online free song wav u620 ringtone samsung boost ringtone mobile converter mp3 trance ringtones ringtones you buy can game ringtones top video 10 t tones ring at for t customers ringtones mobile samsung ringtones a707 mid ringtone download free metro ringtone pcs for get your free ringtones cell Thursday, February 28th 2008 @ 12:32 PM

Posted by Jessica:

midi blogspot com co ringtones ringtone for edit mp3 vx8700 lg ringtone format for us ringtones celluler vx8100 lg ringtone top ringtones 40 lg bluetooth ringtones pitched phone high ringtone cell tracfone ringtones for a free customers mobile t ringtones for samsung real ringtones ringtones phone track chart ringtones samsung ringtone d807 for ringtones cell phone to 8550 ringtones lg ringtone to mid trailer soundtrack tones free phone ring cell Thursday, February 28th 2008 @ 1:28 AM

Posted by Nicholas:

24 ctu ringtone t mobile 3gp convert 3gp mpeg4 8525 mp3 ringtone aac to 3gp ampd mobile ringtone best place to get free ringtones best ring tones boost mobile ringtone borat ringtone buy one ringtone canon in d ringtones cell phone ringtones and wallpapers cell cellular ringtone change of pace ringtones coding workshop ringtone converter 5 3 convert mid to wav convert mp3 to ringtone lg crank cell phone ringtone Sunday, February 24th 2008 @ 1:48 PM

Posted by Marder:

20 free ringtones 3gp players a707 mp3 ringtone add ringtones to treo amr khaled mp3 audio to ringtones because of you ringtones best free ringtone maker best place for free ringtones buy ringtones with a credit card c139 polyphonic ringtones cell phone ringtone editor cellphone ringtones and wallpaper chocolate mp3 to ringtone closer ringtone convert amr file to mp3 convert ringtones crank mobile create cellphone ringtones Saturday, February 23rd 2008 @ 10:04 PM

Posted by Anastasia:

3gp mpeg4 3gp viewer a 900 ringtones amp d mobile ring tones audiovox ringtones best free ringtone maker buy 1 ringtone buy ringtone can t download ringtones cell phone music ringtones cell phone ringtone downloads celtic rings charts ringtone christian mp3 ringtones class rings codes for tracfone ringtones company logos crazy frog ringtone custom ringtones for t mobile cut mp3 for ringtone dj khaled we takin over ringtone Saturday, February 23rd 2008 @ 6:33 PM

Posted by Zeedyk:

absolutly free ringtones animal ringtones best mp3 ringtone best rap ringtones blackjack mp3 ringtones bollywood ringtones for t mobile cell phone music ringtones code for mp3 to ringtone gold composer bloch convert amr mp3 convert mp3 to midi ringtone convert mp3 to ringtone samsung crank ringtone midi creating mp3 ringtones custom ringtones on sidekick 3 digital audio ringtones download mp3 ringtones to computer download music for Saturday, February 23rd 2008 @ 8:11 AM

Posted by Justin:

sony polyphonic ringtones for ericsson tracfone ringtones mosquito ringtones to listen cell on phone to download music how tones i cell phone 24 ringtone converter registration mobile ringtone phone download onto cell music cell ringtones onto music your phone music cellphone download mp3 ringtones phones cell for to ringtone cell send prepaid ringtones alltel ringtones download 24 crazy the frog ringtones bhangra ringtone ringtones crazy frog to listen your cellphone songs to download Friday, February 22nd 2008 @ 5:12 AM

Posted by Elsie:

ringtones for wafer samsung real pcs ringtones metro ringtones mp3 razr on ringtone moto custom q mario ringtone super free ringtones phone lg cell v3 razr mp3 ringtones ringtones compose your own to ringtones samsung add set to ringtone mp3 king of ringtones queens phone any for ringtones ringtones ringer tracfone ringtone tones ring ringtones cell free to ringtones m500 on samsung Wednesday, February 20th 2008 @ 3:49 PM

Post New Comment